Apparently, I care about my birthday a bit more than I thought….because this last one sucked _completely_.  A horrible week at work, that is continuing on this week…and I did nothing for my birthday.  Most of the people I hang out with already had plans.  There were also other circumstances that led to the day sucking even moreso.

The work situation? Isn’t showing any glimpse of changing any time soon..

You’d think if you said the following to your boss, he’d be concerned and talk to you about it:

Me: Why are they asking you about this? Are they afraid to ask me about this?
Him: Yep, they are afraid you’ll yell at them
Me: Trust me, I won’t yell.  I’m beyond yelling at this point.  I’m resigned to my place in this group.
(Note: It’s not yelling, but apparently, they have virgin ears and immediately assume the use of the word "fuck" in any incarnation even once indicates yelling.  They’ve apparently never been to Boston or NYC.)

It doesn’t help, that I keep seeing the "aftermath" footage of hurricane gustav, and the prep for Hanna…and think "God, I’d give ANYTHING to be there, dealing with that."  Yes, I’m disappointed I didn’t get called up to go south to help out…and NO it doesn’t give me "joy" to see the devastation that these people have experienced.  It’s just, shit happens, period.  I just wanna be there to deal with the shit when it happens.

So…I think once I’m done with my ALS internship, I’m going to try to get my paramedic.  Thankfully, there’s a very good chance I can get the county to actually pay for this.

It’s interesting, one of my goals in life is to also get a bachelors degree…and I’m more willing to put my time towards the pursuit of this than get my butt in gear for a degree.  Although, any degree I _want_ would not qualify to be paid for by my company. I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t pay for a degree in emergency/disaster management.  Also, this degree is not exactly easy to find at all. There are a few programs that carry it, but I am leery about the accreditation of the program.  I want to be the one putting together emergency/incident action plans, or taking command of a major incident.  I find all of that to be extremely challenging.

Let me caveat the above…I don’t take pleasure in the misfortune in others in the way it sounds often.  But it’s more that my philosophy is that "shit happens" and I just wanna be there when it happens.

I hate being in IT. I get bored incredibly easily in IT and I get frustrated as well.  I don’t do well at being bored.  I have occasional moments that are challenging, but I find that in order to stay challenged in IT, I usually have to change jobs every 2 years.  (gee…I’m overdue….and I’m bored….I hope the internal position comes through, it’d be challenging for about 2 years!).  I almost curse that I’m good at my job…it kind of becomes the "easy" thing to do.

I am so incredibly exhausted but pretty much every moment of the last 2 days has been worth the exhaustion.

Saturday: I went to Doukenie with a couple of friends who were threatening to give up on VA wine after trying another place and they just were not impressed at all.  I took them as my guests on Saturday.  They liked it so much that one of them signed up for the club.  We hung out on the "club members" patio for probably about 3 hrs, partaking in the pig roast (soooo good!) and killing a couple of bottles.  We started to leave about 3, and just as we were leaving…other friends of mine pulled up.  Since the first set were just leaving and heading home, I kind of "ditched" them and stayed and hung out with the second set…and joining them for food later.  It really turned out to be such a wonderful day, even better than I imagined.  While I missed seeing other friends who were out at Breaux, this was still a very enjoyable day.

Sunday: ENGINE time.  I haven’t ridden a fire engine in probably 2 years, mostly because I thought it a waste of my time while pursuing my medic.  But now, I am trying to get engine time and start looking at how to be the EMS provider for an engine company.  It started out with 1 call, then get food, then do some housework, another call, then some training videos/discussion, then finish the housework…then hose testing in the parking lot (basically, this means testing/inspecting all the hose lengths for any leaks, ruptures or other issues), then reracking the hose.  Shortly after this, we got our last 2 calls back to back which were on I95….in opposite directions.   We finally got back to the station just in time for me to change and go into the bingo hall to work bingo.  I didn’t even have time to help them take the engine out of service, and put everything away, etc.  Today completely and totally kicked my ass though.  I was cursing that I didn’t take any workout clothing…I didn’t need to, I got a hell of an upper body and even lower body workout through the hose testing.

I’m going to go collapse in bed now…SLEEP!  (Oh, and tomorrow, I’m doing this type of thing again, but with the ambulance)

This week is going and beyond to be just insane.

Monday: Work then putting ambulance in service with my chief and one other person overnight.

Tuesday:  Work then headed out to dinner with some friends, then have to go to the firehouse to pick up the excursion for the next day.

Wednesday: ACLS (being held at Prince William Hospital in Manassas) then county fire association cookout and meeting.

Thursday: ACLS (same place), teleconference meeting with county’s Chief Training Officer, and take excursion back to the firehouse.

Friday: Work, then nothing right now…I almost hope it stays this way.

Saturday: Cajun Festival at Breaux Vineyards

Sunday: putting engine in service with my chief, then have to work bingo.

Monday: fire department membership meeting, and then potentially putting ambo in service after….

I can’t even think beyond then what’s going on.

Phew.  I wasn’t fed incorrect information about my eligibility with NREMT.  I’ve been sweating bullets checking the NREMT site two times every day to see my practical results posted.  At 2:37PM today, I checked again:

Practical Exam Scored: 5/29/2008 2:32:00 PM  Passed

(Note the time…I hit it just 5 minutes after they posted it. Hahahaha)

And, logging in now gets me this:

Your current level is:
EMT-Intermediate/99

Your expiration date is:
3/31/2010

Muahahahahaaha!  It’s official! Now I just get to wait for the paperwork to be mailed so that I can file with reciprocity with the state.  Meanwhile, I’ve found ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) and PALS (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) fairly local and within the next month.  I’ve also found an ITLS (International Trauma Life Support) course about 2 hours away in July.  I’m thinking worst case scenario, I begin my ALS internship with the county in the beginning of August.  That will take at least 6 months depending upon how much I ride, but at minimum must ride in that position at least 20 hrs each month.  I hope to be riding a lot more than that so that I don’t take 15 months to get cleared.  Getting cleared essentially means 100 ALS patient contacts (with specifics of each type from there), with most of those me being the main provider and being critiqued by a preceptor.

Also, my chief is now paying for those 3 classes…which is just fantastic.  It also means I’m not leaving my department for a VERY long time.

My first shift after passing all of my medic tests was…definitely not a boring one.  And while I’m still the "unofficial" medic, it was an interesting first shift after becoming one.  (I won’t be official until I get actual cards in the mail and then file for reciprocity with the state of VA).

I can’t really give details, but I can say I am now wondering if the crew I was on will have to go through "Critical Incident Stress Debriefing".   I really hope not (for 2 reasons: there is still hope of a good outcome, and…I deal with this type of thing like a cop does, "shit happens, move on").

I’m tired, completely and just totally drained/exhausted mentally and physically….but….

I PASSED.

I freaking passed.  It’s been a hell of a long week.  Due to some paperwork issues (the cause of the migraine mentioned in the previous post), it almost didn’t happen.  There was a question of eligibility that was raised and there may have been initially inaccurate paperwork submitted somehow.    But, it looks like since I took the written in November, I stopped the 2 years to test clock as they consider that the "beginning" of testing.  I apparently by taking the written in November of last year extended my time to a year from then.

I’m having a hard time finding this online, so I can only go by someone’s word.  But I have this person on my side who will work with me to get anything straightened out with the NREMT.   So…I’m fairly confident I’m okay.  After all I’m still able to pull up my "candidate status" stuff and nothing there looks "expired".   I…..passed.

It was a long day that began at 5am so that I could make sure I was in Verona, VA by 8am.   My nerves were on edge with the emotional rollercoaster that I’d been on for the last 3 days dealing with the state Office of EMS, the NREMT, and the school where I took my initial course.  And from Wednesday until Friday at approximately 3pm, I was convinced I wouldn’t be able to test.  I was a bit more devastated at this than I expected.  Thankfully, I got the green light to test yesterday afternoon, and I spent the rest of the night studying.  The limited study time just prior had me in a bit of panic, and I don’t do well on practical exams, particularly when I need to "pretend" and/or verbalize everything.  If you didn’t verbalize it in these, you didn’t do it.

I was solid in areas that I was the most nervous about.  I was completely solid on my cardiology.  In fact, those 2 stations were the _easiest_ of them all I thought.  My nerves were on edge from being tired, the extra pressure that I HAD to pass EVERYTHING today since my eligibility was still questionable (or so I thought).   My first station was the worst since I’d had no time really to try to deal with the nerves and compensate.  I walked out knowing I’d blown it, especially since I realized later how much I did NOT verbalize.  For testing, it doesn’t help that I’m used to riding with a medic that I _know_ how he works, and often there is much that doesn’t need to be verbalized.  There was one other station I was certain I’d blown as well, the pediatric intraosseous (Pediatrics scare the HELL out of me).  I found out later this latter one I had passed, but had failed one I didn’t expect or think I had failed.

You are given the option to retest that day provided you have no more than 5 stations to retest.  Most people had to retest one or two stations, and I believe most passed the second time around.  I did as well.  I realized what I’d screwed up in the station I’d failed that I hadn’t expected, and it’s not something that would ever happen in the field.  It was back to the verbalization issue.

Next steps:  Find ACLS refresher (or maybe original), PALS and ITLS classes.   Also, I need to get cleared as an Aide and Driver in my department so I can start my internship.  I’d really ultimately like to be released in my department as an ALS provider so that I can also provide the volunteer engines with an engine medic as this will make them ALS engines as opposed to BLS.

So begins a new time of learning. YAY!

I have a massive migraine right now.  That is all.  I just felt like telling you that.  I know why I have it, and until I chill out about the reason, the migraine will persist.

There is a reason, and ultimately a name on this one.  And maybe I’ll explain later or maybe I won’t.

So, I’ve had to drop the hammer on some of my operational people in my FD.  Basically we have certain things required of people on a yearly basis (haz mat refresher, and bloodborne pathogens refresher, etc.).  We just recently went through a round of haz mat refreshers.  This means I as the training officer had to go through update our rosters for those who did attend a session, and….email those that didn’t.

I am kind of pissed that I had to email 12 people to ask why they missed hitting just ONE of the many many sessions that were held.  I had already emailed anyone who hadn’t signed up for a session to let them know and remind them it was required well in advance to be able to make ONE session.  The ONLY people exempted are those that took the original haz mat class in 2008.  Is it REALLY that difficult to figure out what you’re supposed to do?  We tell you, I email you, it was in your initial orientation from us, and from the county, and it’s on the internal web site.

I got my first reply, from someone who KNOWS better, of "I didn’t know I had to do it this year since I just did this last fall".  I looked, and no, you did it last spring like the rest of us…and you were emailed by me stating that you were NOT EXEMPT.  And I get MORE excuses back.  Excuses are seriously getting old.

I’m expecting 10 more replies (one replied thanking me for keeping track and reminding him)…and I’m sure they won’t be good as at this point, I’m beyond the "nice email".  I’m sure that I’m being called a bitch or something to that effect by some of these people, it’s a good thing I just don’t care   If anything, it amuses me.

Holy shit. I’m registered for the 24th in Staunton VA.  That’s…coming up soon.  But this allows me to have time to find another test site for any stations I might have to retest.

Shit shit shit shit shit.