This is kind of a weird time of year for me. There’s a lot of mixed emotions for me during this time of year as birthdays are just weird for me. Every year, I contemplate going home for labor day weekend to kind of spend my birthday with my parents, or just wishing they were here (but usually don’t since it’s just not worth driving for just the weekend). Birthdays have usually just been a celebration with my family. When I think back on previous birthdays, I can really only point to one and say "yeah, it was fantastic!". It’s not that I’ve had shitty birthdays, they just weren’t all that memorable.Also every year, I get a little freaked out about how I’m nowhere near where I had planned nor wanted to be professionally, nor in my personal life.
I keep being asked what I want to do for my birthday, and I have absolutely no freaking idea what I want to do. I don’t like planning or figuring that type of thing out at all.
This time of year also becomes a bit harder for me as we near 9/11. Yep, I will fully admit that I probably am a bit PTSD from that, but not in a way that prohibits me from doing anything, or impacts how I live my life. It’s just something that lingers in my mind, and always will. It actually took one year almost exactly after 9/11/01 before I didn’t cry just at the mere thought of it. I think a day rarely goes by that I don’t actually have a passing thought of it. I know this is a weird post, but it’s kind of just what is on my mind.
